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I`ve single handedly defeated my erection.
I was going to write something profound and memorable here, but I can`t remember what it was.
My favorite Facebook photo of your baby is easily #28,614
Roses are red, violets are blue, If i had a brick id throw it at you.
i love you with all my butt. i would say heart but my butt is bigger :)
Just stepped outside, closed my eyes, took a deep breathe of fresh air, sipped a Dew. What a perfect morning, what could go wrong? Crap I forgot 2 put pants on!
Boys will be boys... unless they get a sex change.
I don`t use my cell phone in the car... I have to keep my hands free for making gestures.
I hate mosquitoes, I mean I know I’m delicious but damn.
I just saw the neighbor`s kid trying to spray whipped cream on his cat. I`m thinking he overheard something last night in that house he wasn`t supposed to.
Welcome to the obesessive-compulsive hotline... please press 1 repeatedly.
"It`s not about who`s right or wrong."~ The person that is wrong
If it doesn’t involve food or sleep, I’m probably not interested.
Today I heard a guy on the street say, `It`s chowder season, baby!` so I pushed him in front of a bus because those are awesome last words
My local news station says it gives us " news when it breaks " ...I want unbroken news!!