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Ladys, if you`re in an argument with a guy and there`s no may to win. Start playing with your boobs...works every time.
When girls have a great night out, they talk about it for months. When guys have a great night out, that night will never be spoken of.
I love going for walks in the rain. You can pee your pants and no one will be the wiser.
"Oh wow, it`s a fruit cake! I`m going to eat some of it right now" ...said no one ever.
Please pray for the people still playing Farmville on Facebook.
it`s a fact that flies on screens are not afraid of cursors
You can call someone who makes prosthetics a professional body builder
My wife is a sex object. Every time I want to have sex, she’ll object.
The Teen Choice Awards air last tonight if you want to see a great reminder of why kids aren`t allowed to vote.
A procrastinator’s work is never done.
Karma means I can rest easy at night knowing all the people I treated badly had it coming.
I am NOT high maintenance, I simply have more preferences than most.
When I was little I didn`t care about things like what to wear, my parents dressed me. Looking back at some of my old pictures, it`s obvious that my parents didn`t care either.
If it`s alcoholic anonymous. Why do the members stand up an in-troduce them selves?
People go on and on about the length of Subway`s sandwiches but how come nobody talks about their girth?