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Happy New Years Everyone! (I stole this status:) )
I don`t know where the saying "working like a dog" got started but I`m looking at my dogs daily routine feeling pretty jealous myself.
Not to brag, but I don`t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
Truth is, it’s not a “long story”… I’m just too damn lazy to explain it.
I swear my bed just whispered "Please Don`t go."
That disappointing moment when you pull up to work and it`s not fully engulfed in fire.
Lord, help me be the person my psychiatrist medicates me to be.
A colon is used to indicate a list of elements to the sentence preceding it. A semicolon is for making winky faces.
Pretending to be nice is exhausting...
Guy test! find the nearest guy by you and repeat to him the following slowly: Door knob, Titanic, Gluestick, Kiwi, Opra Winfey, Shovel, Boobs, Remote, Battery, Furby, Glowstick, Beer, & Xbox. NOW ask him what he remembers before "Boobs"
Shout out to the post office for delivering my recycling to me every day.
A lot of guys get married just because they`re hungry.
Stop Instagramming words. I`m not following you for your thoughts. Take off your f*cking shirt.
Insanity does not run in my family. It strolls through, taking it`s time and getting to know each one of us personally.
If other employees are taking four fifteen minutes smoke break a day, I should most certainly be allowed a one hour nap time.