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Sometimes, I use big words I don`t always fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.
We can`t deny our basic human instincts, like automatically thinking we kind of already know how to play the harmonica whenever we hold one.
Sometimes I stand in the shower for 10 minutes before I remember what I`m supposed to be doing. So, yes your secrets are safe with me.
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them? Why aren`t we helping to find them?
The older I get .... The more dangerous it is to sneeze
Maybe Voldemort`s face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station.
Don`t tell me what to do unless you`re naked.
Where there`s a will I want to be in it
I always pick up a huge cucumber up at walmart and yell to my wife "you said you wanted the biggest one right" Because I`m a great husband
Summer: Hair gets lighter. Skin gets darker. Water gets warmer. Drinks get colder. Music gets louder. Nights get longer. Life gets better.
Some days your the duck. Some days your the goose.
Next time a conspiracy theorist says, "That`s what they want you to think," say, "No, but that`s what they wanted you to tell me."
People who peel the entire banana before eating it must be the same ones who take off all their clothes to go to the bathroom.
Since my ear surgery I haven`t heard from my doctor. Not sure if that`s a good thing or not.
If you slept with my husband I`d be like "OMG how much do I owe you?"