Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why do they always have 5K runs for charity? Just once, couldn’t they have a sit for charity or nap for charity?
That`s weird, all this time I thought the Birds and the Bees was a dance from the 50`s.
A person who is bad at math should never take a calculated risk.
My mom at night: Good night, sweet dreams I love you. My mom in the morning: Wake the f*ck up you lazy piece of sh!t.
I have a coffee table in my house. It`s decaffeinated but you would never know it by looking at it.
This status is dedicated to whatever you’re ignoring in real life to read it.
I don`t know what is longer. A microwave minute or a treadmill minute.
You laugh because I`m different ........... I laugh because I farted.
Not quite feeling myself today. I`m going to see if booze helps...
WTF, I feel like I pay these bills every month.
Dear Gangsta: If you pulled up your pants a little you could run from the cops faster.
Example of the difference between `You`re`and `Your`: 1. "You`re nuts" = "You are nuts" 2. "Your nuts" = "What about my nuts?"
I just ate a Cheeto that melted perfectly in my mouth! It was Awesome! ....Until I realised that was the highlight of my day.
is it rude to throw a breath-mint in someone`s mouth while they are talking?
My wife just changed here facebook status from "Married" to "widowed", should I be scared?