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A cash bar on parent-teacher conference nights would be a great fundraiser for schools.
Do you ever just look at a girl and instantly know she posts her daily horoscope on Facebook and quotes Marilyn Monroe?
My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to simply ignore you.
Keep calm and drink on.
The more neighbors I spy on through my binoculars, the creepier I think all my neighbors are!
Alex, I`ll take WTF for a $1000
Literally saw someone get a tattoo of a camel on their toe.
Why do people say "Tuna Fish sandwich?" That`s like saying "Chicken Bird sandwich."
There`s a time and a place for non-alcoholic beer. Never, and down the drain.
Every time I lose some weight, I find it again in the refrigerator.
A bachelor party seems more appropriate after a divorce than before a wedding.
What idiot named them jet skis instead of boatercycles
Babies dont have parents, they have staff.
Iām over the 30-day ab challenge ... Is there a 30-day nap challenge I can take on?
if you don`t have anything nice to say, come sit by me, and we can make fun of people together.