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French people give me the crepes.
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
Summer is real cool until every f*ckin type of insect comes out of the 8th circle of hell.
Its funny how your friends change , Meet new people and forget about you . :( But just know i`ll still be in your heart?
When you consider names for your baby, it`s important to try out the middle name in an angry voice.
How do you people have the time to hate a stranger on the internet?
The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock at 6am is the fact that it’s my cellphone.
If your that person that makes microwave popcorn at work, nobody likes you.
I wasn`t that drunk! "Bro, you went to the train station, smashed yourself against the wall, while yelling, Hogwarts here I come!"
I believe in sharing the road with other drivers. They can have the part behind me.
It’s not weird to talk to yourself, it’s just weird when someone else hears you talking to yourself.
It`s the weekend!!! The " Responsible Adult Button" has been switched to OFF!!
Sorry I mixed 50,000 instant pudding packets into your above ground pool
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Running behind is my cardio.