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The good thing about Facebook is if someone gets on your nerves enough, you can make them cease to exist in your world and you don`t even have to hide a body.
My trust issues began when there was no donkey in Donkey Kong.
As a man I am so thankful I don`t have to give birth. I could never go nine months without drinking.
I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th, because I know how to reduce fractions unlik the rest of you morons.
Always wonder why do people even bother making good quality pinatas?
Down on yourself for being lazy? Keep in mind the Greeks believed their GODS lived atop a very hikeable mountain and no one went to check.
m for Monday t for Tuesday wtf Wednesday Thursday Friday get it wtf
Blood moon, shooting stars....I gotta move to a safer galaxy
If you have a mirror handy, kindly gaze into it and you will find your problem
I told my girlfriend to get me a newspaper. Dont be silly, she replied. Borrow my iPad. That spider never knew what f*cking hit it.
I will stop loving you, when Spongebob gets his driving license.
According to WebMD I have déjà vu... but not only that, I also have déjà vu according to WebMD.
Gone insane. Be back Tuesday.
*Hears a joke about a chocolate bar* *Snickers*
It`s amazing the things I can remember when I don`t need to remember anything.