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Facebook: Saving us money on birthday cards since 2004
It’s ok if you don’t agree with me. I can’t force you to be right.
...you ever ponder why that page was intentionally left blank?
"Open Mike Night" sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I`d been invited to an autopsy.
Oh, you think you have relationship problems? Try separating me from my bed in the morning...
When the sign says: DO NOT TOUCH I read: Touch when nobody is looking.
my friends status was "standing on the edge of a cliff" ... so I poked him
How to meet a girl: 1) Walk into a bar. 2) Shout “Heroes in a half shell.” 3) When a girl yells back “Turtle Power,” marry her.
3 words, 8 letters, easy to say, hard to prove... ..."I`m a zebra."
If tomatoes are a fruit, then ketchup is a smoothie.
Dear Carly Simon, Yes I am so vain that I do think that song is about me.
Is Nudeism a religion?
It`s so strange to think that before Facebook all of this nonsense just stayed in people`s heads.
I have heard of women that aren`t crazy, but I`ve also heard of Unicorns.
People who sit and talk while their pizza is gets cold gives me anxiety.