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I`m not saying you`re a slut but you`re dirtier than my browser history.
to do list: buy a parrot. teach the parrot to say, "Help!! I`ve been turned into a parrot!"
I grew up in a town where the population never changed… Every time a girl got pregnant, a guy left town
I love bacon because I can wrap it around everything. Essentially, it`s the duct tape of food.
decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship`s kitchen.
I was told that I had an alcohol problem, but I think me and Captain Morgan have it figured out..
It`s actually the voices outside my head that bothers me the most.
Health insurance is rare for exotic dancers. Most strippers have little or no coverage.
I don’t appreciate the 5 minute radio ads about how commercial-free the station is.
Just spent 20 minutes on the treadmill without breaking into a sweat......tomorrow I might even switch it on!
The object of golf is to play the least amount of golf.
I robbed a bank yesterday....now the question is, what to do with all that sperm....
If your conspiracy theory doesn`t involve cats and dogs, don`t bother me.
Now they are saying that the Zika virus is sexually transmittable. What kind of pervert is having sex with a mosquito?