Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Calling credit cards "a convenient alternative to cash" is like calling crystal meth a "diet substitute".
Dear shaving commercials, stop shaving hairless legs. If you want impress us, please shave a gorilla.
Parallel lines have so much in common, it`s a shame they`ll never meet
I went to Alcoholics Anonymous last week. The first thing they told me to do was to stop hanging around other alcoholics. So I stopped going.
Before criticizing my taste, remember that I like you.
Do the spectators at golf tournaments know they don`t have to be there
Sometimes when someone appears to be hailing a cab, I go up and high five their hand because you can never be too sure.
Wouldn`t it be ironical to die in a living room?
I hate it when people like their own statuses * At this point you like your status for dramatic effect*
Finally got my sh!t together... Now if I can just remember where I put it
Still waiting on the "Once you go black, you`ll never go back" episode of Mythbusters.
October is breasts cancer month. I stare because I care.
My coffee was so hot this morning it came along with an ugly friend.
Setting an alarm is how we ruin days that haven`t even started yet.
Can you LIKE this status with your elbow? (no cheating)