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Today has me seriously evaluating my policy of not drinking on the job.
Jack Frost go away, come again another day. I need some sun, I need some sand, I need an island & a band. I`m bored with you & tired of the cold, so go away your getting old. Bring on the sun at one hundred degrees, some coconut oil & pina coladas please
Premature ejaculation and hide and seek have one thing in common. 1 2 3 ready or not here I come.
I still know what you did last summer........... cos you posted it on facebook!
I talked to my mom, and she said she probably hadn`t had sex with any of you guys. Damn dirty liars.
When your wife or girlfriend asks,"Do I look fat?" the ONLY correct response is, "Do I look stupid?
I retired from being my brothers keeper when I realised that I was letting in goals that wouldn`t have scored if his post was empty
I should be cleaning and disinfecting the toilet bowl today cause I have a feeling I`ll be hunched over hugging it later tonight.
I`m pretty sure apple kid below needs help..
When I`m in a bathroom stall, please don`t yell "Oh my God oh my God there`s a guy in here!" Respect my privacy.
Wife: give me money I want to buy a bra. Husband: you`ve got nothing to put in them. Wife: you wear shorts
I try to conduct myself as a perfect gentleman whenever I meet a lady. Chicks dig that.
Does this couch Iām laying on make me look unmotivated?
You would think a popular place like the Krusty Krab would have more than two employees.