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Are nap dates a thing? Because that`s something I can work with...
I hate it when a website greets me with a pop-up window. It just feels like you should say hi first, maybe buy me a drink.
You know you are old when your parties have glasses instead of red plastic cups.
It`s called instant messaging for a reason. ..if I wanted to wait a week for a reply, I`d of sent a bloody letter
Lots of people waiting in lines today. Did a new iPhone just come out?
Is it polite or rude to slide a note into the bathroom stall next to you that says, "heard you farting but it`s ok you`re in the right place :)"
What would I do if I won the lottery? Make Charlie Sheen look like an amateur.
How do they fit all that money inside such a tiny credit card??
How am I supposed to get any work done with all this work I have to do?
My boyfriend asked me why I bother watching cooking shows when I cant cook so I asked why he bothered watching porn.
A small child called 911 upon seeing a zebra because he thought a horse escaped from jail
I hate when the cops throw me in the back of the squad car like they didn’t hear me call shotgun.
I need a fixed income. Mine is broken.
NASA has confirmed that December 21, late afternoon, the sky will be very dark. It is an interesting phenomenon called "night".
I feel like I would enjoy getting out of bed more if I only had to do it like 3 times a week. This every day thing is overkill.