Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Did you ever notice that the doctor’s bill is always a lot more readable than the doctor’s prescription?
Chocolate is a flavor of milk, and milk is a flavor of chocolate.
I hate to sound racist, but.. all of your baby ultrasounds look the same.
I`m not the type of person you want to put on speakerphone.
Unless your kid’s fundraiser is selling booze, I want no part of it.
Another day....another 0.2% of a dollar
I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on your bus do not go round & round.
I’ve been reading a lot about how to live and eat healthier and then not doing anything with that information.
A colon is used to indicate a list of elements to the sentence preceding it. A semicolon is for making winky faces.
LIKE if you hide your favorite food from your family
You should NEVER say and I mean NEVER say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she`s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at the moment.. :|
Nothing sadder than the look on my dogs face when I drop food from the table and they realize it`s lettuce.
Let’s have a moment of silence for all these guys that tried to walk across power lines but fell because someone tied their shoes together.
If A-B-C-D didn`t drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn`t have to be so rushed.
I wake up everyday planning to be productive. Then a voice in my head says, " hahaa, good one!" Then we laugh and laugh and take a nap.