Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Spread happiness by smiling at a stranger today...or flash them your boobs. Strangers love boobs!
I thought about going outside and doing something today but my Wi-Fi really doesn`t reach very far.
Instead of calling in sick, call in well. Tell them how great you feel not having to go to work today.
Hello customer service, I ate two happy meals and I’m still not happy
stupidity is a privelege entitled to everyone but you my dear are abusing this right
My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell, well he actually told me to eat "less McDonalds" but I`m pretty sure I know what he meant.
I am used but in good condition.
Nothing is better than seeing your ex with someone uglier than you!
That awkward moment when the woman your dancing behind bends over so you can grind it, and you realize she`s just lost an earring and nobody in Starbucks can hear your iPod...
Today is opposite day. Wait...if today is opposite day and I say that it is opposite day that means today isn`t opposite day. If it isn`t opposite day then how cAn I say today is opposite dAy? I`m so confused -.-
Depresso; the feeling you get when you`ve run out of coffee.
I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait....
Posting inspirational quotes online is the first sign to depression.
Just remember, outside of that beautiful slim bride on her wedding day there’s a fat woman just waiting to get in.
I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo.