Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Marriage teaches you a lot about yourself. For instance, I`ve learned that I don`t need to use so many paper towels, and they`re expensive.
I`d rather run into the four horsemen of the apocalypse than a group of women out on a "girls` night."
You never really know a woman, until she takes you to court.
That awkward moment when you have 10+ tabs open and you can`t figure out which one the music is coming from. FML
The only thing I understand about Algebra: I look at my X and I wonder Y
My dog’s ratio of digging holes in my yard to finding buried treasure is not where I’d like it to be.
Is somebody not editing what I´m saying here???
I like telling people to "grow up" because even if they hate me I can visit them ten years later and say "Took my advice I see"
This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness....NO WE WON`T!!
I think I need to lose some weight. I tried to sit up earlier and ended up rocking myself to sleep
My lifetime stats are pretty average until you move over to the Pizza Consumed column.
I`m starting to think that some of you are misspelling words on porpoise.
Sorry I missed your call ... I was to busy singing and dancing to the ringtone
You’d think my password was “yourmom” because my computer just told me it was too easy.
A sure cure for sea-sickness is to sit under a tree.