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How is it possible that we have one hand that can do everything while the other hand is all, “I can’t even hold a pencil”?
I put the pro in inappropriate.
Do you think that the guy who invented the vibrator heard voices saying, "if you build it they will come"?
I believe in magic because it`s the only way to explain how fitted sheets get folded.
Me: Mom…Dad. I’ve decided to live on my own from now on. Parents: Ok, cool. Me: Your luggage is outside.
Just saw the trailer for "Noah." I hear The Book is better.
If electricity comes from electrons… does that mean that morality comes from morons?
I`m glad I know sign language. It`s pretty handy.
When you think about it, the little old man behind the curtain in Oz was the original catfish.
Most meteorologists are men. That`s why when they say we`re going to get 6-8" of snow, we only get 2 or 3.
I miss my ex a lot... but my aim is getting better.
I have some jokes about unemployment but they need some work.
This strip mall certainly is misleading And I probably should put my clothes back on now.
can´t find Sesame Street on my GPS. Can you tell me how to get there?
Apparently “finders keepers” does not include expensive cars in parking lots.