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Ever been completely out of toilet paper that you send your kid next door to get some? Me neither, I just like to embarrass my kid.
Light travels faster than sound.. That is why some people appear bright until they speak.
I have my own version of Whole Foods, where I eat the Whole Pizza, Whole Box of Donuts, Whole Bag of Chips...
I`m not saying not to trust the Internet, but there is an alarming discrepancy between the number of iPads I`ve won and the number of iPads I own.
Girls here`s how to tell if a guy wants you for sex - 1: He does
When in doubt, take a nap.
If the world dosen`t end on the 21st, I sure do have a lot of MREs to gift wrap.
I`ve been on a diet for 2 weeks and all I`ve lost is 14 days.
OMG, you guys, there`s a button on this stove that says "Stop Time". Should I press it??
Don`t text me while I`m texting you. Now I have to go back and change my text.
Miley Cyrus is not unique. I have been having full body spasms and licking random objects for decades.
That moment when you spell a word so wrong that even auto correct is like....`I`ve got nothing man.`
I hate when reality happens outside of my head.
has a drinking problem...I can`t afford it
Trojan should be sponsoring Teen Mom. That show is the best advertisement for why you should always wear condoms.