Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Does anyone know where the off switch on a child is? I can’t seem to find it.
Sometimes, numbers are the only thing you can truely count on.
SPOILER ALERT: Rice cakes do not contain any actual cake.
Don`t under estimate me... unless you`re trying to guess how old I am or how much I weigh.
Don`t you love followers that don`t acknowledge your existence. Its so cute. Its like I have tiny marriages all over the world.
Mario Bros. Plumbing ????? (69 Reviews) Hired them to clear my drain, stomped my turtle to death and ran off with my girlfriend.
The fridge is a clear example that what matters is what`s inside.
I havend`t heard from DAEMON MAILER in years, I hope he`s okay.
β€œNevermind.” Translation... You should’ve listened the first time.
It`s normally a combination of things that cause bad decisions. The tequila, lime, salt combination is the most common.
For someone who can`t put on a pair of socks without falling over, I sure do manage to get a lot done every day.
I hate fake people...especially the ones at the mall advertising clothes in front of the stores
You know that button in the elevator with the firemanΒ΄s hat on it... turns out that is not the button you press to get a firemanΒ΄s hat.
I wonder if Oscar the Grouch has a hipster cousin somewhere that lives in a recycling bin
I`m great at balloon animals. You should see my eel, snake, and worm.