Daily Silly Status

I don`t think my blind date was blind, she read the menu and caught the basketball I threw at her

The first rule of Right Club is that your wife is the only member of Right Club

I hate it when teachers say, “You think it’s funny?” Obviously it is, if it wasn’t I wouldn’t be laughing

So many feelings today. Mostly hunger.

Never give up on your dreams, keep sleeping.

You have to hand it to Subway for convincing us it`s acceptable to eat an entire loaf of bread for lunch.

Dating these days must be so hard, because how do you know somebody loves you if they don’t make you a mix tape?

LADIES: Not all men get into a relationship just for sex. Some just need a personal chef.

Here hold my dignity, I`ve got some sketchy shit to do.

I`m not saying I can perform miracles or anything, but when the Taco Bell employee isn`t looking,, I can turn water into Sprite.

Two drunk guys driving down the road, One says to the other "We must be getting closer to town!" The other guys says, "How can you tell?" He says "Were hitting more frickin people."

When I was a kid... No wait. I still do that.

Stop calling them rednecks. The term is NASCAR-Americans. Y`all.

I`m not feeling myself today..... Perhaps I should feel someone else.

I swear, if Facebook changes their layout one more time, I’m going to post a status update about it & then use their site as much as always.