Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Perhaps your whole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others
Yes we`re friends on facebook but that`s where it ends, stop trying to talk to me in real life... mom
[takes out checkbook][clicks pen] Alright, how much to make these Bit Strips to go away forever.
I was drivin home tonight and was singin away and seen a tree ahead and swerved to miss it and realized it was my air freshener hangin from my rear view mirror!!!! CLOSE CALL!!!
There are times, when I actually am hungry like the wolf. But thanks to Duran Duran I can`t tell anyone without sound like a complete f*cking idiot
When you`re tucking your kids in at night, read them a few select Facebook statuses, kiss them on the forehead and whisper "This is why we must stay in school."
I just sprayed Citrus Fabreeze in my bathroom... Now it smells like Sh*trus
I love how twix come with two bars so I can eat one now and the other immediately after
The only idea worse than New Coke was brown toilet paper...
My parents say I was an unplanned child, which probably explains why my life isn`t going to plan.
My insomnia is getting worse. I was wide awake all day at work yesterday.
I don`t need WebMD to tell me what`s wrong with me, I have my mother.
Little known fact: Walt Disney was the inventor of modern day text talk "M - I - C... C u real soon... K - E - Y... Y? Because we like u"
I`m starting a pay it backward campaign. When I get up to the drive through window I tell them that the car behind me is going to pay for it.