Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Instead of cars warning us of stupid things, like the door is open, it should tell us useful things, like there`s a cop hiding in the bushes
I wish common sense was more common.
Honestly, I`m so awesome that I wish I could meet myself and get my own autograph.
I hate when our cat runs into the room, hisses at an empty chair then runs back out and I end up in the bathtub holding a crucifix.
There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing next to you right now, and you`d have no Idea...
Why is it called a menstrual calendar and not an egg timer?
Day 8. You should be thankful that I`m medicated
We all have faults. It`s just that mine are better than yours.
and alcohol are now friends.
I now have more electronic screens in my life than friends.
For some reason, I`m an extremely secretive person. Don`t ask me why!
I`ll be back in five minutes. If I`m not, read this again :D
No matter how fast you run, the serial killer always walks faster.
When parents on Facebook post about how they can`t believe their kid is going into whatever grade, write "No way! I thought for sure he`d be held back!"
I am absolutely a man of my word. Unfortunately, it just so happens that the word is "Unreliable".