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SINGLE GUYS: Nervous about flirting with a woman? Just remember: they`re smart, confident, and aware they don`t need us, so yeah, you should be worried.
Never, ever ask a woman if she`s pregnant unless you see an actual baby being born. Even then, act surprised.
OK. Who decided to call it "possession of marijuana" and not "joint custody"?
I did responsible things all day so tonight will consist of nothing that even resembles responsibility.
only fights if pillows are present.
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science
You know those orange cones they put on the highway for you to knock down? I just beat my high score last night!
Where did Noah keep his bees? ... In the ark hives ... Yes, I`m showing myself out, thanks
Sometimes I think I`m a relatively smart person. Other times I put my shoes on before my pants and realize who I really am.
You should probably take everything I say with a grain of salt. And lime. And shot of tequila.
With the problems I have, I would have taken my own life a long time ago but i have one question: Do they sell weed in hell?
Wear black: all the non-conformists are doing it.
A procrastinator’s work is never done.
Pandora has taught me that a lot of the music I love is very similar to music I absolutely hate
Me, a morning person? Pfft. Most days I`m not even an afternoon person.