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They say love is more important than money. I`d like to see them go and try to pay their bills with a hug.
Do you guys dance in the shower too? This morning I did the robot! (I short circuited and stared at the wall for 40 minutes, broken)
If the voices in my head had a British accent I would listen to them more often.
If they just built prisons out of the sh!t they package electronics in, no one could ever escape.
Job interview: Please tell us why you’d love to work for us? ME: I need money :)
I`m so sick and tired of my light weight friends who can`t handle their alcohol...Last night , they dropped me 3 times when carrying me out of the bar!
Well that’s a wrap on another day where I act like I know what I’m doing
This is probably the best idea I`ve had yet! -me, right before I do something stupid
If you can make a woman laugh, you`re almost there. If you`re almost there & she laughs, now that`s a different thing.
A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early if you ask me.
If money grew on trees, Congress would actually care about the environment.
Still waiting on the "Once you go black, you`ll never go back" episode of Mythbusters.
I may be evil, crazy, insane and f*cking naughty but I do have some good traits, I just don`t dwell on them.
I’m going to rename my wifi network to “Surveillance Van #02?. That should keep the neighbors on their toes for a while.
Some days you just can`t get home to your liquor fast enough