Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
*licks finger, holds it up in the air* ah yes, just as I suspected. wind.
Just for fun, next time you see a snooty, rich woman at the grocery store, ask her if she works there.
I don`t know what`s scarier. Houses with Halloween decorations or houses that still have up Christmas decorations from last year.
Son to mom: why should I sweep the floor? Mom to son: do you want to be an Olympic Curl champion?
I took a poll recently, and 100% of strippers were angry they had nothing to dance on.
Plumbers should keep busy this week now that No Shave November is over..
I`ve got this great new drinking game where you take a shot every time you want to get more drunk.
No, I’m not funny. I’m just really mean and everyone thinks I’m joking.
I’ve been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions.
Being the fat guy at McDonald`s is like being the muscle guy at the gym. People stay out of your way cause they know you mean business.
Fat, single and ready for a Pringle.
I need to find new reward systems besides beer and chocolate.
If you’re that person that makes microwave popcorn at work, nobody likes you.
I started drinking a little early. Yesterday, to be more precise.
Not sure if I logged into Facebook or the Cartoon Network.