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Doctors and scientists agree on the benefits of an afternoon nap, yet still my boss thinks he knows better. Ridiculous.
If you see me talking to myself don`t be alarmed. I`m getting expert advice.
I hate it when people come to MY house, knock on MY door then have the nerve to ask me why I`m not wearing pants.
Men, if a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If she starts to growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate at her.
The awkward moment when you set something down for a second and it disappears off the face of the earth.
I think my downstairs neighbors are beginning to suspect I`m living in their attic...
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can´t remember the other two.
Life before the internet was awful. Your friend would be wrong about a trivial issue during dinner and you just had to let it go
This Christmas, if you plan on jingling, please jingle ALL the way. Nobody likes or respects a half a$$ jingler.
"Does this dress make me look fat?"-- Now, what I SHOULD have said was, "No, dear! You are little black dress approved!" but what came out was, "When did your bum move to the front?"
According to WebMD, MedicineNet, Healthline, Mayo Clinic, Symptom Checker, NetDoctor, MedlinePlus, Johns Hopkins and InfoMedNet, I`m OCD.
People who say everything happens for a reason should remember that when I punch them in the face.
I think I`m going to run for political office, so people can dig up dirt on me. I have been wanting to piece together my twenties.
I like to skip when I`m carrying my flamethrower cause no one ever suspects a skipping girl of starting fires.
How many exercise/workout videos does a person have to buy before seeing results?