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Sometimes you can tell it’s going to be a bad day when someone you don’t like is smiling.
I did absolutely nothing today and did it well!!!
Don`t play stupid with me! I`m better at it.
I wonder if one day somebody will knock on my door and say to me, “Hey ,we have 7 mutual friends in Facebook; may I come in?"
I`m on a pepperoni pizza cleanse.
If you think your having a bad day ... You could be digging your own grave at gun point and find buried treasure.
I`m pretty sure by now “lazy” is just part of my personality description.
Thanks, resealable packaging, but I think we both know that won`t be necessary.
Being married is 90% talking about what to have for dinner.
I remember when downloading a song meant trying to tape it off the radio while hoping the DJ didn´t talk over the song.
I`m only 30 lbs away from my New Year`s resolution to lose 20 lbs!!
I’m old enough to know what’s bad for me and young enough to do it.
Please, please don`t be a bitch to me. Because then I`ll have to be a bitch back and I can do it better than you.
I`m convinced girls only want one thing from guys... all of our hoodies. -Bfanch
Hubby wanted to start the new year out with a bang - So I shot him..