Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I would order delivery more often, but I just can`t stand lowering the drawbridge.
Internet dating: the odds are good but the goods are odd.
The average human uses less than 10 percent of the remote.
I overheard 2 girls say there was a creepy dude listening to their conversation.
I love a woman in uniform. I mean naked.
My head says go to the gym. My heart says food.
I must have a great butt because every time I finish talking with someone and start to walk away, I hear them whisper "What an a$$."
Don’t be too flattered. If I’ve come up a fun nickname for you, chances are it’s because I’ve forgotten your real name. Sorry, Cowboy.
Just once, I`d like to clock out from work by sliding down a dinosaur.
Is it bad when I’m talking to myself and I’m not even listening?
A gay man is just one colonoscopy away from foreplay
Recent survey asked people in the U.S if there are too many immigrants: 17% said yes, 83% said Lo siento, no hablan Inglés
Couldn`t stay awake sitting on the couch, so I laid down in bed to make sure I wouldn`t fall asleep
I can either be on time or wearing pants. Pick one.
I like to think that people that unfriend me wake up months later regretting that irreversible and life altering decision.