Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wasn`t even going for broke. But I got it!
Quiet people have the loudest minds.
The world would be a much nicer place if everyone took a chill pill. It would be even better if some of them choked on it.
I see you`re busy. I`ll come back later and ruin your free time.
I`m introducing a new calendar system: B.C. = Before Children. A.D. = After Divorce.
Roman Numerals...what are they good IV?
From now on when someone asks you where you`re from look them dead in the eye and say: Planet Venus.
Orange Hi-C counts as a serving of fruit, right?
I dont know about you guys, but I am amazed Pringles is able to constantly grow the same shaped potato. Science.
When I was a child, I wanted to be a surgeon. But apparently I was too young
Today`s interpretive dance was brought to you by "Spider On My Shirt". Up next we have "Oh jeeze, where did it go?!"
Iām thinking of leaving my body to science. Even scientists need a good laugh now and then.
This girl is ignoring me like a check engine light.
My thoughts should be ashamed of themselves.
I hope when I die Charlie Sheen`s life flashes before my eyes.