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“If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you don’t deserve me at my best” literally translates to “I’m a loud, sloppy drunk.”
People who live in glass houses should not throw orgies
As soon as the Zombie Apocalypse hits I`m grabbing a sledgehammer and heading down to the local cemetery for the greatest game of Whack-A-Mole ever.
i don`t care if u don`t like me ........... i am not a facebook status:D
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
To understand paranoid people better, follow them around.
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
My 5yr old learned how to whistle if anyone’s looking for a new 5yr old.
COCKADOODLEDOOOOOO!!!!
Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of sh!t going on?
Why is powdered milk called ‘Instant milk’? Actual milk is far more instant.
I hate when the remote is way over there
Ok Brazil, this would be a time when it`s ok to bite an opponent.
Burglars must love "My Family Stickers". They can wait in front of someone`s house, count the people that leave, and know if they have a dog or not...
Do you like the strong, silent type? Then you`ll love my farts.