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My bank account is more like a countdown to homelessness.
Facebook would be much more interesting if they let you decide, which part of the body you wanna Poke.
I can`t face my checkbook so I check my Facebook.
The only thing I hate about beer is that there`s absolutely nothing I hate about beer... :)
I hate that I have to put on clothes to participate in society.
Does all this status updating make my ego look fat?
"Cannot connect to network. Reset your wireless router." "Umm, okay, but what if my router is in my neighbour`s house? Should I call him?"
I didn`t give you the finger...you earned it.
The wet spot in my bed is tears
If a Police Officer says, Anything you say will be taken down & used as evidence... Your answer should always be, Please don`t hit me again officer...
Being a camera must be pretty cool. You get to sleep until there`s something cool to see.
I only use shampoo that smells like raspberries so people don`t think it`s weird when I have jam in my hair.
On the bright side, it’s Friday Eve Eve Eve.
I don`t need an excuse to drink, but thank you for giving me one.
I`ve reached the age where happy hour is a nap.