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I don`t care how the future pans out, any amazon delivery from now on is referred to as a drone strike.
One of my biggest fear is being chased by Usain Bolt during zombie apocalypse.
Don`t sweat the small stuff. Don`t sweat the medium or large stuff either. Stop perspiring on everything. Take your sweaty a$$ elsewhere.
My new years resolution is to try to actually finish someth
If one goes to online college, do they have to haze them self?
You’d think after all these beauty pageants, we would have world peace by now.
Facebook: Making stalking people much more convenient since 2004.
I can`t be the only one who thinks "Game on, mother f*cker" when I see an air freshner in a bathroom.
At this point Washington DC is basically just an elaborate promotional stunt for Grand Theft Auto V.
It`s always the darkest before dawn. So if you are going to steal your neighbor`s newspaper that`s the best time to do it.
Someone just asked me if I was `happily` married. Single people are adorable.
They`re having a Jamaican hair-do day tomorrow at work. I`m dreading it.
Gravity didn`t seem this strong twenty-five years ago.
Oh, honey, you have gone beyond muffin top. That`s a busted can of biscuits!
You haven`t truly tested your patience yet until you get stuck behind an undecided person at a Redbox kiosk.