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What sort of drug abuse and debauchery has to occur in someone`s life for them to start liking Charmin Toilet Paper on Facebook?
It`s called instant messaging for a reason. ..if I wanted to wait a week for a reply, I`d of sent a bloody letter
Always keep a note in your medicine cabinet that says, “I thought you were peeing?”
Dont piss me off...I`ll give your number to all the kids and tell them it`s Santa`s hot line!
went to see the conjuring, and now there`s 10 crosses, four bibles, and a poster of Chuck Norris in my room.
u smile i smile u laugh i laugh u cry i`ll go get a bat and say who`s gonna get it
To understand paranoid people better, follow them around.
Ok everybody. Please look in your bedroom closet. I got my stalking notes mixed up and don`t know where I am.
Don`t talk to me like I`m stupid until you know for sure.
Saw a bug crawling on my arm and my reaction can only be described as “grabbing for swirling dollars inside a plexiglas Cash Cube.”
Covers on, too hot. Covers off, too cold. One foot out would prolly be ok, but I don’t wanna be dragged from bed paranormal activity style.
I laugh in the face of normal.
OMG guys!! im so happy!! the doctors just gave me a jacket so im always hugging myself!!
This strip mall certainly is misleading And I probably should put my clothes back on now.
When I finish eating something I have to show my hands to the dog like I`m a blackjack dealer...