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Hey ladies breastfeeding in public,...Why don`t you ever smile in my pictures?
“Let me rephrase this question so I can get pissed off at you all over again.” - WOMEN
I saw a poor old lady fall over today, at least I presume she was poor, she only had $ 1,20 in her purse
I`m hosting a wine tasting event in my home. Well, it`s not really an event. It`s just me and three bottles of wine. No one else is invited.
Take mentos and freeze into ice cubes. Put the ice cubes in your friend’s drink. After five minutes their drink will randomly explode.
Those awkward moments when you catch yourself feeling frustrated with your kids for being just like you....
I like to go to the bar and flip peoples license plates upside down, then go home and listen to my scanner.
This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness....NO WE WON`T!!
I was raised on the streets is more manly than saying I grew up watching Sesame Street.
Before coffee: Hates everybody. After coffee: Feels good about hating everybody.
Thumbnail pics. Helping ugly people look hot until you click on them since 1995.
So I met an Egyptian ... they walk just like us.
When I think of a good status in the shower, I run out dripping & naked and post it before the internet ends and it’s too late.
Do a little dance, make a little love, pay child support.
Sometimes when I’m feeling lonely, I head on over to Best Buy and pretend to know nothing about my phone.