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I took a sexual harassment course yesterday...I think I`m going to be pretty good at it.
I`ll drink enough for both of us, because I`m just a caring person.
I left work in slow motion but it didn’t blow up behind me.
My doctor told me to start watching what I eat. What channel is the Pizza Network on?
When riding in an elevator, be sure to push all the buttons. Your fellow riders will appreciate the fact that you thought of everyone.
Father: Earlier you used to call me papa but now dad, why? Daughter: Come on dad, calling you PAPA spoiles my lipstick.
What can I do today that is only going to happen once in a blue moon?
is trying to decide ... laundry today or naked tomorrow
If jail isn`t supposed to be fun, why do they get bunk beds?
Ate too much salad yesterday so I`m going on an Oreos cleanse today.
I live like I type, fast and with lots of mistakes!
Women say they want a guy who can make them laugh. I`d probably have done better if they`d specified that they didn`t mean by tickling.
Mouth the word " vacuum" to a stranger & see what happens.
Newton`s third law of emotion. For every male action there is a female overreaction.
Sometimes in the morning while drinking my coffee, I think about all the people I will be pissing off.