Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, please take them off.
The pollen is so bad this year that the people in the trailer parks are turning their crystal meth back into Sudafed.
Call me old fashioned but I prefer women with eyebrows made out of hair
Too bad you can’t get abs from laughing at your own jokes, because I would have an 8 pack.
Every parent’s superpower is the ability to communicate “I love you!” and “I will kill you!” with a single look.
I met a girl who told me that she broke up with her last boyfriend because he just didn`t work out. Which is when I knew, she wasn`t the one for me, as I hate to work out as well.
The real reason the Mayan civilization collapsed is they never updated their Adobe.
If you like to listen to music while having sex, listen to a live album. That way you will get an applause every 3-4 minutes.
Keys to a good friendship. Same taste in alcohol. Different taste in women.
I hate when I`m on Facebook and I`m rudly interrupted by a jogger bouncing off my windshield
People who don`t understand sarcasm are awesome.
Does Holy Crap comes from Holy Cow.?
I do what I want, when I want, where I want.. if my mom says its ok. :)
I went shopping for some camouflage trousers earlier. Couldn’t find a pair anywhere.
I automatically assume you`re fat if your Facebook picture is a car