Daily Silly Status

Monica & Chandler’s twins would be 9 this year, Pheobe’s triplets 14, Ben 18, and Emma 11. Let’s just take a moment to let that sink in.

Why is it socially acceptable to wear a bikini at the beach but not on the bus? At the end of the day I’m just a guy in a bikini on the bus.

How to make a Vodka Christmas cake. . (Made mine this morning!!!!) 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1......bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit. Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be... sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to

My support group can outdrink your support group.

“Taking candy from a baby” would actually be a responsible thing to do.

i wish i could sleep ... but my damn A.D.D. kicks in and basically 1 sheep, 2 sheep, cow, turtle, duck, Ol McDonald had a farm, HEEEY Macerena.

Guess what I saw today ... Everything I looked at. ;)

Every boy band song should have a part where they realize they`re singing about the same girl & get mad at each other.

Whenever I try cleaning my room I either end up making a bigger mess, or just playing with the stuff I thought I lost.

The next time you feel you`re worthless.... just remember.... your organs are worth a LOT of money on the black market.

People who describe things as “better than sex” are having the wrong kind of sex.

As a matter of fact, the whole world does revolve around me.

I`m kind of like Hugh Hefner. Only without the mansion, the exotic cars, the girls, the magazine and the money. Basically, I`m just a guy in a bathrobe.

What if dogs bring the ball back because they think you enjoy throwing it?

FACT: Men are much less likely to divulge a secret than women. Probably because they weren`t really listening to begin with.