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What does Miley Cyrus have for dinner on Christmas? Twerky :`)
I just got off the couch and I think I accidentally did yoga or some $hit.
A plus side to being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas and I won’t judge you because I too will be in my pajamas.
I have cat-like reflexes. If I hear a loud noise, I keep napping.
If you love someone , let them go. If they dont come back, call them up later when your drunk and see wtf is going on.
I’ve got a friend whose nickname is “Shagger”. You might think that’s pretty cool. She doesn’t like it
If you ain`t laughin, you ain`t livin!
If you have trouble getting your children`s attention, just sit down and look comfortable.
Call me crazy, but the last person who did is still in a full body cast, so it`s up to you.
Chicken pot pie sounds like a great idea if you add commas.
I don’t just sing in the shower... I perform.
My new girlfiend is taking forever to exist.
I live like I type, fast and with lots of mistakes!
Men also have feelings. For example, we can feel hungry
Pretty impressed at petrol station today, as i was filling up, i heard woman with truck at next pump say is that Vin Diesel, I smiled, then realised she meant Van Diesel :-/