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So vegetarians eat vegetables... I think I`m going to play it safe and avoid humanitarians.
When people say they did something "like a boss" I just picture them doing it fatter and with less hair
Dear, automatic flushing toilet, I appreciate the enthusiasm.... But I wasn`t finished.
The wife finally agreed to anal sex... Does anyone know what a strap-on is?
I`m thinkin` Dodgeball........... but with random people..........who don`t know they are playing.............
My brain is about as well organized as the Walmart $5 dvd bin.
I found my wife through online dating. So, she`s definitely got some explaining to do!
I don`t understand why people have to "get ready" for bed....I`m always ready for bed.
I wonder how long I`ll be skinny from all this dieting and juicing I`ve been doing. 1 month? A year? A couple of ye....ooh look cake.
My secret fantasy is to have two women at the same time, one cooking and one cleaning.
Admitting you have a problem is half the battle. Convincing everyone else that they`re the problem is the other half.
For fun, I steal my married friends phones & change my name to `Brandy from the club` then repeatedly call them & hang up at 3am.
Facebook is great! It reminds me to go to the gym and take my birth control so I don`t end up like everyone I went to high school with.
I`m surprised kids haven`t found a way to trick or treat online yet
If you added up all the time you waste on Facebook, think how much TV you could watch.