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I wasn`t even going for broke. But I got it!
I`m trying to be healthy and grow my own food but I can`t find any Twinkie seeds. :/
I don’t cut in front of people whenever I’m waiting in long line, that’s rude. I just start dancing & grinding on them until they get all weirded out & leave. Works every time.
Sometimes to much to drink is never enough
I have the same thought when I watch horror flicks as when I watch my wedding videos. I should have known who the psycho was much sooner.
When I say ‘it’s a long story’, it doesn’t mean it’s actually a long story. It means I just don’t want to tell you.
It`s the little things in life that matter the most... for instance the refrigerator light, helping you to see that last beer way in the back!
We all have that one person we forever regret giving our phone number to.
Hooters does have hot girls, but the Subway girls are the real wife material.
I just blew all my party money on bills again
If by cat person you mean I like to sleep all day and poo in sand then yes I am a cat person.
Depresso; the feeling you get when you’ve run out of coffee.
OK. So I took the road less traveled. Now where the hell am I?
People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world.
My neighbor put the box his fridge came in on the curb for trash pickup. Guess who has a new fort!