Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Marriage (Possible side effects may include sadness, anger, sudden drop in finances, depression, sexual abstinence, and sobriety)
I may look like I`m doing nothing, but in my head I`m quite busy.
They’re called scents, not flavors, I should not able to taste your perfume or cologne.
I think my front door faces the wrong direction. People keep finding it.
Someone asked who sang Johnny B Goode, and I said Marty McFly because I`m not an idiot and I know how time travel works.
Remember when we thought it would be fun to grow up and have jobs? LOL
You know you`re old when all of the bands you listened to growing up have several greatest hits albums.
I was watching craps at the casino all night until security finally dragged me out of the bathroom.
If Tetris has taught me anything it`s that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear.
Soccer is just like my sex life. Long periods of time with no action followed by pure shock & surprise by all parties involved when I score.
As a nation, we may be spending our children`s money, but at my house, it`s the other way around.
I liked your facebook update, only so I can unlike it.
my entire life is a "had to be there" moment
I`d be much more attracted to you if you were much more attractive.
The older I get the better I used to be.