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I love finding money in my clothes. It`s like a gift to me... from me. :)
Coffee has given me unrealistic expectations of productivity.
I`ve got to remember to tie a string around my finger!
Is it wrong to tell a knock knock joke to a homeless person ?
i just accidentally used AOL online, im betting the workers there are celebrating and think they have a chance in the future. lol
I can`t believe the music that kids listen to now-a-days! What ever happened to wholesome music like "Push It" and "Me So Horny"?
Relationship status: Runs alone at night in hopes of being abducted.
Dracula had impeccable hair for a guy who couldn’t see himself in a mirror.
Not every flower can say love...but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst...but a cactus did. Not every idiot can read, but look at you go!!!! lol
I just saw a woman getting into a car the wrong way ... Through the driver’s door.
I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes.
There`s a Bullying Support Group meeting, tomorrow night at 8 ... You`d better f*cking be there.
The Super Bowl is over, everyone. Time to briefly learn the names of some Winter Olympians.
Hoping that Steve Harvey isn`t the one announcing the winning Powerball numbers tonight!
Probably a good thing I`m not a ghost cause I`d just stay in the kitchen and scare people then eat all their food.