Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Nothing says you`re ugly like Facebook asking, "are you sure you want to make this your profile picture ?"
www.amish.com. How did this happen?
A kleptomaniac in a bakery really takes the cake
Fun Fact: Even though they call it a "man hole", you can shove women and children down it just fine.
On the first day of school, I tell all my students to rip up their textbooks ..then I leave before their REAL teacher arrives.
You`d think this moron wandering around the lot would give up after 10 minutes and push the alarm button to find their car ... But I won`t
500 + friends... and not one of you saw where I put the remote?
When they say all expenses paid, does that include bail?
As an adult, I’m not eating nearly as much ice cream as 10 year old me thought I would.
The first sign of laziness:
Win every argument simply by repeating your opponent`s last sentence in a whiny voice.
Whenever a wrong number calls me and hangs up I always call em back and tell them it was their loss because I`m really fun to talk to.
If you feel lonely... dim all lights & put on a horror-movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore
Wife really liked the "sex anytime, anywhere" coupon I gave her. Probably should have specified "with me"
I finally overcame my fear of skinny dipping. Unfortunately it cost me my YMCA membership.