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I may look like I`m doing nothing, but in my head I`m quite busy.
Could you please put your screaming baby on vibrate.
Please do not read this.
Scientists say the Universe is made up of Protons, Neutrons and Electrons... They forgot to add Morons.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you`re ignorant and make bad decisions.
Panick, chaos, anarchy... my work here is done.
If karma doesn`t hit you, I gladly will.
Everyday I run into someone who pushes me past the limits of my medication.
When I was a kid, I wanted to be a Pilot...but apparently I was too young.
Relatives comin` ~ hide all awesome stuff!
They`ve been farting with my facebook again. It`s like the old days when the the girl you woke up with wasn`t the one you went to bed with.
Seriously, it’s almost 2014, can we please get some waterproof phones? I would like to text in the shower.
Testing shows that people in the USA know less about geography than England, Japan and like 100 other countries I`ve never heard of.
Sometimes I wonder if the kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught a fish yet.
The only thing worse than it raining after you wash your car is having to poop as soon as you get out of the shower.