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I never know the proper etiquette with the pizza delivery guy. Do I kiss him before or after paying him?
Growing up is when you go from using drugs for fun to using drugs for survival.
Remember, You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.
The most amazing thing about the internet is how it allows you, with the click of a few buttons, to do absolutely nothing with your life.
I`m not an asshole, I`m just the only one who has the balls to say what everyone else is thinking.
Friend told me that on her strict new diet, she eats each meal naked in front of a mirror. I said would you like to come over for dinner?
When I`m in a bathroom stall, please don`t yell "Oh my God oh my God there`s a guy in here!" Respect my privacy.
Do you ever dislike someone so much that you hate when people are nice to them?
Drinking always starts out as the best idea you’ve ever had.
i just caught a disease so rare that even i dont have it .
Safe words are for quitters.
Do gun manuals haue a trouble shooting section?
If at first you don`t succeed then maybe you just suck.
I just got an email telling me how I can have fuller, firmer breasts. I can`t wait to show them to my wife!!
I want to take this moment to thank the depends adult diaper company for allowing me to play my video game for a strait 8 hours uninterupted...