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Sometimes, late at night in the market..i switch up all the color tubes in the hair dye kits.
Guys are at their mathematical best when a girl says she is pregnant.
Just joined the support group Hokey Pokey Anonymous ... A place to turn yourself around. ;)
Do handjobs from girls who speak sign language count as blowjobs
I`ve been running as fast as I can, but I still can`t catch my breath.
Make your day more fun by going up to a stranger and asking "Hey, how have you been since the amnesia?"
If you really think about it, "Nightlife" is just a fancy word for drinking alcohol at a place that isn`t your house.
Step 1: remove food from packaging Step 2: dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time
Guys would stay home longer if boobs came in a 30 pack.
I won $20 by not playing the lottery last night!
Preheating an oven requires too much commitment.
Today I caught myself thinking of you and smiling... but it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
I did all I can do. I can´t do no more
Any convenience store that requires the customer to wear pants isn’t convenient at all.
I don’t have a bucket list, but my f*cket list is a mile long.