Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How many times can you celebrate a 29th birthday before people catch on? -asking for a friend
When people said they sleep like a baby, it`s because they do not have one.
Plan B includes margaritas.
I`m not saying women are smarter than men, but it`s kinda ironic that there`s so few known women serial killers and so many unsolved murders.
This skinny girl just told me she "forgets" to eat? Is that possible? I just licked her face in case it`s contagious.
Did you ever notice how a woman’s “I’ll be ready in 5min” and a guys “I’ll be home in 5min” are one and the same?
I don`t remember anything that happened, but I may have had a drink or two...
These ‘energy saving’ light-bulbs are bullsh!t. They take just as much effort to screw in as the ordinary ones.
So how old does a highway have to be before you tell him he`s adopted?
Hello...
That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is "act natural, you`re innocent".
Top three reasons he doesn`t text you back: 1. He`s just not that into you 2. He`s imaginary 3. He`s a cat
New rule: advertisements can no longer use adjectives. I`ll decide what is "fresh" and "natural" and "like a real girl" thank you very much.
Just because I`m nodding my head at appropriate times while you`re talking doesn`t mean I give a sh!t about what you`re saying..
"Huh?" (my thought for the day)