Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Next time you think life`s not fair..think of this x large clothes cost $2 more than large so why doesn`t small cost $2 less ? Being fat ....now that`s unfair
Falling in love is lot like dying, you never get to do it enough to become good at it.
To error is human, to forgive is divine, to keep your damn mouth shut is much appreciated.
Honey, your haters are imaginary. No one wants to be you. I promise.
Alcoholic? No. Self-appointed booze quality control technician? Yes.
Why doesn’t a deli slicer just have a scale on it?
When I`m bored I like to call in sick to places I don`t work for. I`m getting written up at Home Depot
Every time I think I finally have the life I always dreamed of....I wake up.
I was being taught to use some machinery today, and I was quizzed as to the rules of it`s use. When asked what the first rule is I responded, "You do not talk about Fight Club."
I just ate 3 whole chickens ... they were hard boiled.
Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food.
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
A good thing about dating a vegan is that you could kill 2 birds with 1 stone, when you buy flowers because they`re also a snack for later.
I`m in no shape to exercise patience!
I`m going to the gym now. Not bragging. Just want you to know where to send the ambulance.