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In movies, do actors wear costume underwear? Or underwear from home? The whole thing is confusing. I don`t think I can keep watching movies
How come when a girl has sex with everyone she`s a slut but when a guy has sex with everyone he`s my boyfriend
The length of your "About me" section on Facebook is directly proportional to how annoying you are in real life.
You ever notice that the most dangerous thing about marijuana is getting caught with it?
You know those orange cones they put on the highway for you to knock down? I just beat my high score last night!
When I see names carved into a tree I don’t think it’s cute, I just think its strange how many people take knives on a date.
I`m a passionate supporter of things that don`t inconvenience me or require any type of action or physical effort.
There just isn`t enough make-up in this world to cover up crazy.
I`m about 0 for 300 in looking for safes behind wall paintings
I can`t wait to find my soul mate so I can start sleeping on the couch.
I don`t get women. Also, I don`t understand them.
With my luck, I’ll die and get reincarnated as myself.
There are only 53 days until Christmas... just a heads-up in case you haven`t shopped for me yet.
I love watching women`s beach volleyball. There have been two wrist injuries so far, but I should be ok by next week.
Sorry I drunk dialed you at 10am.