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I have a great relationship with Alcohol..
Oh and BTW,,, Why haven`t Pig Pen`s parents been visited by child services yet?
Nobody knows how much work I put into looking only this fat.
Don`t be sad laundry, nobody`s doing me either.
Always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday.
Hey NFL, solution to your recent problem, start allowing players to hit each other on the field again
In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I’m right.
Five little words that will win my heart, "I brought beer and pizza."
Two things I am thankful for: 1: Family and friends. 2: Caller ID, so I can avoid certain family and friends
I got food poisoning today. I don’t know when I’ll use it though.
Facebook`s list of "suggested friends" is quite literally a list of people I`ve been avoiding my entire life.
Why doesn`t someone invent a clear toaster? Then you could see how toasted your toast is while it`s toasting.
Yes... I repost. Isn`t that kinda the point? Spread the love and shit? Mostly shit... But that`s your fault...
Kids maybe a gift..... But I like playing with the box it came in.
I thought we had nothing in common until I saw you buying 3 margaritas at a time.