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happy 3rd birthday to the tartar sauce in my fridge
I talked to my mom, and she said she probably hadn`t had sex with any of you guys. Damn dirty liars.
I`ve found that the best web designers in the world are spiders.
That`s a horrible idea ... What time?
likes beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate major events such as the my birthday or the fact that that it`s Monday.
I`m still trying to get over the fact that oranges are pre-sliced by nature.
I have a pornographic memory... Go ahead and get naked, I`ll remember you.
If she is still able to walk to the kitchen after s@x , you don`t deserve a sandwich.
I think that work and microwave minutes are longer than regular minutes.
Happy birthday to my Pet Rock who is 453,786,321 years old today!
Why is it called a menstrual calendar and not a flow chart?
I`d get lost less frequently if GPS would say "no, your other left."
What does it mean when you sit next to an elderly woman on the bus and she shakes her head and makes the sign of the cross?
Campers: Nature`s way of feeding mosquitoes.
All women have an hour glass figure – it’s just that they all tote around different amounts of sand.