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You should be able to park in an “expecting mother” parking space if you’re waiting for your mom.
You know how people dread going to the dentist? I feel that way about getting out of bed.
Actually baby, diamonds are a girls best friend, so technically I slept with your second best friend
I didn`t get your text (phrase) - I got your text, I was just too lazy to respond.
We had a power outage last week and my PC, TV and games console shut down immediately, so I had to talk to my family for a few hours. They seem like nice people.
I don`t think boredom gets enough blame for the trouble it causes.
Running away does not help with the problems unless you are fat
Life`s tough. It`s tougher if you`re stupid...
If you ever want to know what you look like to the world, don’t look in a mirror, have a child draw you.
Next time a conspiracy theorist says, "That`s what they want you to think," say, "No, but that`s what they wanted you to tell me."
Spontaneity is great ... as long as I have a plan.
There`s a time and a place for alcohol ... In my hand and now.
Just assume that we aren’t close enough for you to send me a game invites on Facebook.
Remember when you were a kid and all you would use the computer for was paint and space pinball?
Odd Fact: The names of characters in Inception are: Dom, Robert, Eames, Arthur, Mal and Saito. Note the first letters = DREAMS.