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Two flies sit on a pile of poop. One fly passes gas. The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do you mind? I`m eating here."
Click Like, if you hate being told what to do.
Well bugger... Just realised the plant ive been watering for 2 years is fake.
I`m pretty sure by now “lazy” is just part of my personality description.
DID YOU KNOW: If every person on the planet lined up along the Earth`s equator, most of them would drown.
bored out of my mind in class i began staring into space... space happened to be right in front of me at the time...
Let`s be honest, Dos Equis. After a bunch of ANY beer, what guy DOESN`T think he`s the most interesting man in the world?
Of course you have a right to your own opinion. Just like I have a right to tell you to shove it up your a$$.
I`ve always wondered why they don`t have a pregnant Barbie doll? Turns out Ken comes in a different box...
The irony of all this is, the internet was created to save us time...
When you leave store without buying anything and all you can think is `keep calm, you`re innocent`.
It`s a bad sign when your credit card bill has a comma and your bank statement doesn`t!
That sound the Ketch-up make when you squeeze out the last drop, NEVER fails in making people laugh
How I sing it: "A, B, C, D, E, F, G,....H, I, J, K, A LEMON OH PEE!....Q, R, S....T, U, V....W, X....Y, and Z."
It`s not a real hangover until you bring a pillow into the bathroom.