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Why didn`t you tell me that I wasn`t going to like you
I like the part of the day when food happens.
Legally,It´s questionable. Morally,It´s disgusting. Personally,I like it.
Talked to someone in person today....what a pain in the a$$ that was!
Allow me to explain myself via a new communication method I like to call "Interpretive Napping"
If I saw a ghost, I would not be scared. I`d be like "Sit your translucent a$$ down, I have a lot of questions!"
Group Therapy: listening to ALL your voices.
Helpful tip #12: Never buy all the tools you need to kidnap, kill and bury someone from just one store.
Apparently, when people say "I could use a hand" it doesn`t mean they want to get slapped in the face.
If a clown farts, does it smell funny?
I wonder who was the first person to see an egg come out of a chicken`s booty and think..."I`m gonna eat that!"
Hey Monday+?+(???) +?+
I just got this sudden urge to do something productive. Wait nope, false alarm.
Life is about perspective like the sinking of the Titanic was a miracle for the lobsters in the ships kitchen
When finding someone to date, drinking compatibility is more important than you think.