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My eye problems starts on Mondays and ends on Friday evening. I see clearer after the fourth bottle.
I log off because I`m bord... I log on 5min later because I`m bord
I decided I`m not doing the whole clock-back routine this year. If you need me, I`ll be in the frickin future.
"I got this." Translated: I most certainly do not have this, but prepare to be thoroughly entertained.
Boss: Where`s the progress report I asked u for. Me: I haven`t made any progress, that`s my report! - What I imagine it`d be like if I had a job
The whole purpose of vacationing is to make you appreciate knowing where the channels are at home.
I’ve been waiting 2 hours for an employee to come and wash my hands like the sign says….
He who laughs last didn´t get it.
I hate it when someone starts to tell me something, then says "Never Mind".
The only trouble with resisting temptation is that you may not get another chance...
People who go rock climbing: you know you don`t have to, right
How do Amish girls know if it`s a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular one #DeepThoughts
If a gay guy doesn`t write a book called "Fifty Shades of Haaaaaayyy" I`ll be disappointed.
Men are usually too focused on the cleavage in the shirt to notice the crazy in the eyes.
I`m sorry. Putting up with your sh!t isn`t on my To-Do list today.