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How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
My credit rating is so bad I got turned down for a magazine subscription.
It may look like I’m having really deep thoughts but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food I’m going to eat later.
I can’t wait until I get that job at Starbucks because I’m going to spell everyone’s name wrong so they can’t instagram their cups.
I just made a voodoo doll of myself. Can someone take it to the gym?
Its funny how your friends change , Meet new people and forget about you . :( But just know i`ll still be in your heart?
I need a vacation ... or this fifth of Jack -Me at the liqiour store
A lie is just a great story that someone ruined by telling the truth.
If u think someone (me) is cute u should tell them (me)
She deleted and blocked me so I guess you can say we`re taking it slow now.
How many decades of knowing someone before it`s rude to ask what their name is?
Seriously contemplating remarrying my ex wife, but I`m pretty sure she`ll figure out that I`m just after my money
A new day : the possibilities, endless. the funds, insufficient.
People should have to pass an IQ test to use the self-checkout section.
If the best things in life really are free, why am I still getting charged at the liquor store? I call bullshit