Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"Ho, Ho, Ho!" -Santa Claus/Pimp, doing a head count.
Insert coin to view my status message.
Don`t you just hate it when people say stuff in thier status that you really didn`t want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poop. Talk to ya later.
You can`t lick any part of your reflection except your tongue.
I need an app that shows oncoming traffic on my touchscreen while I`m driving
Flies only live for 24 hours.. Except for the ones that get in your house. Those bastads live forever.
once a homeless guy said to me `Hey you got a dollar` and I said `wow your absolutely right..with psychic powers like that I`m surprised your still homeless` got in my car and left..
If you are noticing this notice, you will have noticed this notice is not worth noticing
Monopoly: Destroying friendships since 1904
If your that person that makes microwave popcorn at work, nobody likes you.
That akward moment you try and deep throat a banana and get caught ... and your a dude.
All I want is to see you smile...that and maybe a pizza.
People will believe anything if you whisper it.
The Super Bowl is over, everyone. Time to briefly learn the names of some Winter Olympians.
Hillary Clinton is running for president. In other news, grass is green and the sun is hot.