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Do you think they still give out chips in Gambler`s Anonymous?
Dear college students, Sorry about your GPA. - Netflix
The only thing I understand about Algebra: I look at my X and I wonder Y
why do wise people never make wisecracks?
Iām considering becoming a mind reader ... What are your thoughts?
I won the Twister contest hands-down.
It`s unfortunate that most people will never run out of things to say.
There has to be an online course that I can take to get over my internet addiction.
There should be an observation deck at Walmart.
I wish my bladder had a snooze button.
I`m giving up procrastination for Lent ... starting tomorrow.
The guy behind me honked a nanosecond after the light turned green. So I put on my flashers and here I sit, tweeting about the whole thing
Meaningless statistics are up 17% today
Yeah... I may be old... But I`m still hot..... They just come in flashes now!
That awkward moment when your trapped in the corner of your shower because the hot water ran out.