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So I´ve narrowed it down and I´m either gonna start a motorcycle gang or take a nap.
Turkish ruler Erdogan was at the White House this week. Sources say he arrived very early so he could beat the crowd.
I don`t understand no one has excepted my boiling water challenge
Mom: How are your grades this semester? Me:.... Mom:.... Me: Mother what`s important is that we have our health
Sometimes after a nap, I like to take another nap.
If one goes to online college, do they have to haze them self?
My wife and I laugh at how competitive we are at things, but I laugh more.
I changed siri to a male voice and now my car keeps taking me to strip clubs and auto parts stores
I`m gonna hang a Batman costume in my closet just to screw with myself when I get Alzheimer`s.
After joining Facebook, my TV became radio.
I should be asleep, but there are a lot of things I should be.
that awkward moment when you`re alone somewhere and trying to take a picture of yourself.
There is only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water lying about being milk.
“I saw that.” -Karma
Putting your finger on someone`s lips and saying "Shhhh... Not another word" is super-romantic. But the cops didn`t think so.